Hello…I’m FIVE and I’m an addict…

It’s been 727 days since my XBOX 360 has had anything but Call of Duty in it.
I am not in denial about my addiction. I am fully aware that I have a problem. I love Call of Duty. I love playing it, I love talking about it, I love reading and hearing about. Watching others play it on Justin.tv…make me want to join them. And when JD_2020 from Treyarch tweets about it, I just want to follow him!
In most cases, awareness is the first step in getting help. This is different. I don’t want help. I may need help…but I don’t want it. In fact, I have no intentions of getting treatment for my addiction. Actually, I’m hoping I can get more people addicted so I never have to face reality!

Pathetic…I know. My wife calls herself a CoD widow and my children don’t even know what I look like standing up anymore.

I didn’t used to be like this…

I used to love all types of games, but now they just sit there on the shelf. Staring at me, as if to say…why have you forsaken us Five? Why? Weren’t we good to you? They were…I harbor a lot of guilt over this.
My favorite games used to be Survival Horror games like Silent Hill and Resident Evil. But those days are gone. Now I’m caught in my own special kind of foggy hell that is known as Call of Duty Multiplayer Mode.
Now, the only time I am truly happy is when my team wins a round of Capture the Flag or Search and Destroy, and I earn enough XP to level up. Aside from that, the only thing that really gets me off is a clean headshot from across a large map. Well…that and a fresh set of batteries for my wireless controller.

I’m pathetic…

Before Call of Duty, I was a happy person… I used cook out on the weekends and go places with my wife. I used to do things with my kids. I used to mow the lawn and wash the car. I used clean my garage and hang out with my buddies, Tom and Brad.
Ever since my son turned me on to the Call of Duty games about 4 years ago, my friends have become people with names like xX SniperDog69 Xx, JitterKitten, and UnkemptZulu. And when those friends are unavailable, I’m not picky…I’ll share my connection with anyone who is willing to go HARDCORE with me.

Yep…I’m sick. It’s ruining my life!

My 50″ plasma TV has a permanent HUD burned into it.
I can’t stop relating everything to Call of Duty…
When my dog runs after a squirrel in the back yard, I imagine myself running after her so I can corner kill whatever she is chasing.
I just watched “We Were Soldiers” on TV the other day, and in one scene the American Forces are getting slammed from all sides. So they call in air support. When it comes and drops napalm all over the enemy, I couldn’t help but think…”somebody just got a 5 kill streak!”
When I can’t play, to subdue the mild panic attacks, I get out my RC car that came with my edition of Black Ops and chase the cats around the house with it…yelling BOOM when it gets close to them…they don’t like me anymore. I don’t balme them. I’m not right in the head.
Last Thanksgiving, my brother made a comment about my mashed potatoes…he said they were a bit lumpy…I was humilated. After dinner he fell aslepp on the living room floor…I tea-bagged him and did a victory spin while pretending to defuse a breifcase bomb. (what the hell is wrong with me!)
My 10 year old son usually gets lunch money, but the day “First Strike” was available for download, I was a bit short on funds. So, I sent him off to school with a bologna sandwich and a dill pickle…telling him..”I need to get MicroSoft points boy…you understand…right?”
Last night, while in bed, I had to get up and use the bathroom. I accidentally woke my wife while pulling the covers back, and she asked me where I was going. I told her I earned a “care package” and had to go wait for the dump.
Kids ask a lot of questions, like “Dad, where are my shoes”…I have started replying to them with things like “check your minimap” or “now would be a good time to use your UAV”
My family tried to do an intervention on me last week but realized quickly that I am a lost cause. When I came in the door, I was surprised that they were all waiting for me. Just by looking a them I knew what was up, and felt very cornered and unsafe. Lashing out them I screamed in a Little Timmy voice, “You’re all a bunch of spawn killers!” They just hung there heads left the lobby…I-I…I mean living room. Feeling muted and banned, I played 5 straight hours of Team Deathmatch with some people I never met. They are all on my friends list now…They get me.

I know this isn’t right but I can’t help myself! Call of Duty has me by the frags…and I like it!
I do manage to pull myself away from it once and a while, and actually do stuff like go to work and eat. (most of the time) And…I have promised to spend at least half of the weekend with my family, and even more time if the internet goes down…So I guess you could call me a functioning addict…but none-the-less…I am an addict.
I know I am not alone in this, and that in itself, gives me comfort. Being alone in this world is not something anyone should have to go through by themselves…(wait…what?) Thank you all for taking the time to let me get this off my chest. I feel like a just earned enough CP to purchase Lightweight and Marathon Pro all in the same round!

If you are sufferring from any form of FPS addiction and want to talk about it…or you just share your story, feel free to email me any comments, stories, pics and videos, to five@Galaxy4Gamers.com. I want you to know…you have a friend who understands.

I’m FIVE and I’m an addict…thanks for listening.
(Is there anymore coffee?)

(a related video…this is NOT me! But I do understand.)