Category Archives: Video Game Humor

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I’m FIVE and I’m an Addict

Posted on by five

Hello…I’m FIVE and I’m an addict…

It’s been 727 days since my XBOX 360 has had anything but Call of Duty in it.
I am not in denial about my addiction. I am fully aware that I have a problem. I love Call of Duty. I love playing it, I love talking about it, I love reading and hearing about. Watching others play it on Justin.tv…make me want to join them. And when JD_2020 from Treyarch tweets about it, I just want to follow him!
In most cases, awareness is the first step in getting help. This is different. I don’t want help. I may need help…but I don’t want it. In fact, I have no intentions of getting treatment for my addiction. Actually, I’m hoping I can get more people addicted so I never have to face reality!

Pathetic…I know. My wife calls herself a CoD widow and my children don’t even know what I look like standing up anymore.

I didn’t used to be like this…

I used to love all types of games, but now they just sit there on the shelf. Staring at me, as if to say…why have you forsaken us Five? Why? Weren’t we good to you? They were…I harbor a lot of guilt over this.
My favorite games used to be Survival Horror games like Silent Hill and Resident Evil. But those days are gone. Now I’m caught in my own special kind of foggy hell that is known as Call of Duty Multiplayer Mode.
Now, the only time I am truly happy is when my team wins a round of Capture the Flag or Search and Destroy, and I earn enough XP to level up. Aside from that, the only thing that really gets me off is a clean headshot from across a large map. Well…that and a fresh set of batteries for my wireless controller.

I’m pathetic…

Before Call of Duty, I was a happy person… I used cook out on the weekends and go places with my wife. I used to do things with my kids. I used to mow the lawn and wash the car. I used clean my garage and hang out with my buddies, Tom and Brad.
Ever since my son turned me on to the Call of Duty games about 4 years ago, my friends have become people with names like xX SniperDog69 Xx, JitterKitten, and UnkemptZulu. And when those friends are unavailable, I’m not picky…I’ll share my connection with anyone who is willing to go HARDCORE with me.

Yep…I’m sick. It’s ruining my life!

My 50″ plasma TV has a permanent HUD burned into it.
I can’t stop relating everything to Call of Duty…
When my dog runs after a squirrel in the back yard, I imagine myself running after her so I can corner kill whatever she is chasing.
I just watched “We Were Soldiers” on TV the other day, and in one scene the American Forces are getting slammed from all sides. So they call in air support. When it comes and drops napalm all over the enemy, I couldn’t help but think…”somebody just got a 5 kill streak!”
When I can’t play, to subdue the mild panic attacks, I get out my RC car that came with my edition of Black Ops and chase the cats around the house with it…yelling BOOM when it gets close to them…they don’t like me anymore. I don’t balme them. I’m not right in the head.
Last Thanksgiving, my brother made a comment about my mashed potatoes…he said they were a bit lumpy…I was humilated. After dinner he fell aslepp on the living room floor…I tea-bagged him and did a victory spin while pretending to defuse a breifcase bomb. (what the hell is wrong with me!)
My 10 year old son usually gets lunch money, but the day “First Strike” was available for download, I was a bit short on funds. So, I sent him off to school with a bologna sandwich and a dill pickle…telling him..”I need to get MicroSoft points boy…you understand…right?”
Last night, while in bed, I had to get up and use the bathroom. I accidentally woke my wife while pulling the covers back, and she asked me where I was going. I told her I earned a “care package” and had to go wait for the dump.
Kids ask a lot of questions, like “Dad, where are my shoes”…I have started replying to them with things like “check your minimap” or “now would be a good time to use your UAV”
My family tried to do an intervention on me last week but realized quickly that I am a lost cause. When I came in the door, I was surprised that they were all waiting for me. Just by looking a them I knew what was up, and felt very cornered and unsafe. Lashing out them I screamed in a Little Timmy voice, “You’re all a bunch of spawn killers!” They just hung there heads left the lobby…I-I…I mean living room. Feeling muted and banned, I played 5 straight hours of Team Deathmatch with some people I never met. They are all on my friends list now…They get me.

I know this isn’t right but I can’t help myself! Call of Duty has me by the frags…and I like it!
I do manage to pull myself away from it once and a while, and actually do stuff like go to work and eat. (most of the time) And…I have promised to spend at least half of the weekend with my family, and even more time if the internet goes down…So I guess you could call me a functioning addict…but none-the-less…I am an addict.
I know I am not alone in this, and that in itself, gives me comfort. Being alone in this world is not something anyone should have to go through by themselves…(wait…what?) Thank you all for taking the time to let me get this off my chest. I feel like a just earned enough CP to purchase Lightweight and Marathon Pro all in the same round!

If you are sufferring from any form of FPS addiction and want to talk about it…or you just share your story, feel free to email me any comments, stories, pics and videos, to five@Galaxy4Gamers.com. I want you to know…you have a friend who understands.

I’m FIVE and I’m an addict…thanks for listening.
(Is there anymore coffee?)

(a related video…this is NOT me! But I do understand.)

Posted in: Video Game Humor, Video Game Tournaments, Video Games
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Behind the Controller: A Look at Wolfkrone

Posted on by five

Right around the time of the November 2010 announcement of EVO Online at Galaxy4Gamers.com…

bb …a Super Street Fighter IV gamer named Wolfkrone showed up on the site. Right after making his first deposit, and entering the EVO event, he began competing in cash head to head challenges and single elimination SSFIV tournaments hosted by Galaxy4Gamers.com. In just over a month’s time, he played in an astonishing 120 plus matches at G4G and earned over $1000.00 in winnings. When the day arrived for first round of EVO Online bracket play, Wolfkrone, along with fifteen other competitors, found their way to the top of the sixteen regionally divided brackets, moving each of them on to the finals. Day two of the event was held a week later, and after all was said and done, it was Wolfkrone who was crowned the victor of the tournament. As his reward, he won a free trip to EVO 2011 and an exclusive online title of “No One Comes Close.” Shortly after the event was over, I got a chance to interview Wolfkrone…

Five:
How’s it going today?

Wolfkrone:
Everything is going good today. Just finished up a little Christmas shopping with my family.

Five:
‘Tis the season…I just got mine finished up yesterday,. all done..ready to go…glad it’s over with!

Wolfkrone:
LOL

Five:
So…your username is Wolfkrone. You are a pro Super Street Fighter IV player, winner of the first ever EVO Online Tournament, and exclusive owner of the online title: No One Comes Close”
Before we get into all that, can you tell us a little bit about who Wolfkrone is?

Wolfkrone:
Well…my real name is Joshua Philpot, I’m from Detroit Michigan. Right now I’m 20 years old, and currently going to college. I’ve been gaming since I was about 5 years old and have played just about any fighting game you can name. I didn’t really get serious about gaming until Street Fighter IV came out.

Five:
Where exactly did the username Wolfkrone come from?

Wolfkrone:
It came from one of my favorite fighting games Soul Caliber IV. One of the stages in that game is called called Wolfkrone Monument, and that’s basically where I got my name from.

Five:
We (Galaxy4Gamers) met you for the first time at EVO 2010. If I’m not mistaken, you visited our booth, signed up for Galaxy4Gamers.com, played in some cash tournaments, and even won a HORI Fight Stick…

Wolfkrone:
Yeah…that was me…I was there…

Five:
Shortly after the announcement of EVO Online at Galaxy4Gamers.com, you came back to the site, and as of right now, you have played in 128 online cash tournaments on G4G…

Wolfkrone:
..Yep…

Five:
What I want to know, is do you think playing all those matches helped you get ready for the competition in EVO Online?

Wolfkrone:
Yeah…the site definitely helped me get ready for EVO Online. Playing on the site got my way more in tune to playing online than I was before. Playing the matches helped learn new things and gave me an idea of what to expect.

Wolfkrone:
When I was younger, everyone used to beat me down in Street Fighter and other fighting games. I would always lose…bad… I think that’s what got me into Street Fighter and made me competitive…When I got be around 10 or 12, I started going to Wizard’s Arcade…it’s closed down now, but…when I was going there…for like 4 years…all they had was fighting games. They had Third Strike, Cvs2…they had King of Fighters…they had all the fightin’ games…going there…that’s when I became really competitive.

Five:
When was the first competitive tournament you ever played in?

Wolfkrone:
It was in February of 2009 right after Street Fighter IV came out. It was at a Michigan Ran Bat (Ranking Battle)

Five:
How did you do?

Wolfkrone:
I placed around 13th…

Five:
Out of how many players?

Wolfkrone:
I think there was like 40 or so…

Five:
That’s not bad for your first time…
How often do you go to LAN tournaments?

Wolfkrone:
Here in Michigan, we have Ran Bats every two weeks, so I go to those…I uhhh…usually win those…

Five:
lol

Wolfkrone:
…and if there is a tournament in either Chicago or Ohio, I usually go there too.

Five:
You went to EVO this year…what did you think of that?

Wolfkrone:
It was my first EVO…It was different…it was alot of fun. There were so many different people there. I got a lot out of it because I got a chance to play against so many really good people.

Five:
We all know you have a killer Viper… do you ever play with any other characters?

Wolfkrone:
I mess around with a lot of other characters, but when it’s time to be serious and play for real, I choose Viper. I can play with any of them but when it’s time to get down to business, it’s Viper.

Five:
How much time do you spend a week practicing.

Wolfkrone:
A lot.

Five:
LOL..A LOT huh? Should we just leave it at that?

Wolfkrone:
Yeah. lol.

Five:
Do you have a sparring partner…someone you play with on a regular basis…

Wolfkrone:
Nope.

Five:
…do you get online and get into endless battles for practice? What’s your practice like?

Wolfkrone:
Usually it’s just practicing punishes in Training Mode. I mostly just play by myself or online. I usually don’t train with anyone. I like to put myself in situations in Training Mode and see how I can get out of them.

Five:
I play SSFIV a little bit and although I suck, I find Training Mode to be the arena for me, because they don’t hit back! How do you practice your timing?

Wolfkrone:
Oh..yeah…I get online…there are a lot of good people online. I have fought a lot of pretty good people online… and when I lose, I go back to the replay and look at that setup and find out what I did wrong, why I lost…then I go back to training mode and try the same thing…figure out my options in that situation…

Five:
I hear ya…
A lot fight gamers use a Fight Stick, like the ones you can get from MadCatz…it’s my understanding, that you don’t use one…

Wolfkrone:
I use a default PS3 controller.

Five:
Why the controller over the stick?

Wolfkrone:
I’m self conscious about people listening to what I am doing or watching my hands while I play. Using the controller they can’t hear or see what I’m doing. If people watch your hands or listen to the button presses, they can react to it.

Five:
Wow…that’s not what I expected to hear…something to think about…smart…

Wolfkrone:
Yeah…in this one tournament…I lost in the first round and the guy was like, “I knew I heard you press something”…

Five:
So it’s a whole strategy thing then…

Wolfkrone:
It is…


Five:
Aside from Super Street Fighter IV, do you play any other video games?

Wolfkrone:
Right now, I play Call of Duty: Black Ops…that game is fun…

Five:
That’s cool…Black Ops is MY staple game…

Wolfkrone:
That’s pretty much it…those two…that’s all I’m playin’ right now.

Five:
What does your family think of your gaming?

Wolfkrone:
They are supportive…at first they weren’t…after I started doing good, they started supporting me. Now they cheer for me…when I come home from tournaments, they are all shoutin’ because they watched the streams…it feels pretty good.

Five:
That’s awesome…I think what makes it even better doing something you love and being able to make some money doing it!

Wolfkrone:
Yeah…definitely!

Five:
Okay…so in this relatively new industry that is competitive gaming…what do you want out of this? Where Do you see this taking you in life?

Wolfkrone:
Right now i see it as fun. I do see a future in this though…through sponsorships. There are a lot of sponsorships out there and there are more coming…I believe it’s going to take another five years or so for things to really get goin’.

Five:
For anyone who is thinking about getting into competitive video gaming, what kind of advice can you offer?

Wolfkrone:
The best advice I would say, is spend a lot of time with a game…study it…dedication and hard work…

Five:
Before we wrap things up here, It has been a pleasure and an honor. I thank you for your time, and I wish you the best of luck in EVO 2011. In closing is there anything else you would like to offer up to our readers?

Wolfkrone:
For everyone who is reading this…Galaxy4Gamers.com is a really, really good site. Go there, and play…you will level up by playing there. It will help you with your competitive gaming and you will improve, because when you play there, you are playing against people who WANT to win, and playing against people like that will definitely make you a better player.

Five:
WOW! Thanks Wolfkrone. Again, Congratulations and Good Luck at EVO 2011!

Wolfkrone:
Thank you Five.

Posted in: Arcade, Benefits of Gaming, Fighting Games, Gaming News, Interviews and Podcasts, Online Video Game Competitions, Uncategorized, Video Game Conventions, Video Game Humor, Video Games
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